How do you describe yourself?

How do others describe you?

You would be surprised, perhaps, that the two don’t always match.  If you are in a relationship, that’s when you learn this.  Take any argument when you believe you are the right one.  And, when your partner calls you out on being selfish or mean or stubborn, you deny it vehemently.  I am none of that, you think to yourself.

When I sit down to analyze a little bit of my personality, I am smart enough to recognize there are some deep flaws.  You don’t get to be 51 years old without some realizations along the way. Some good, some bad.  Some have little significance.  For instance, It’s difficult to explain to others that I am not as impressive as I seem as The Martial Arts Woman!  Good words can easily hide flaws!

The best that I can do is to be who I say I am.  The Martial Arts Woman is one part of me.  The one with  a martial arts background, a positive mindset, and a whole host of experiences to share about what I’ve learned and what I know.  I like that part of me, too; but, it took a lot to get there.  51 years, to be exact.

It takes hours upon hours of writing and editing; years upon years of teaching experience; and months upon months of facing and overcoming some of the difficulties life has thrust upon me, in order for me to be the person you see here. I wasn’t always positive, wasn’t always helpful, and wasn’t always willing to help others.  All of this took time.

So, my point is, now is the time to start new.

Today is a new day for you, so start by figuring out who you want to be and to be who you say you are.

Your Turn

The great thing about today is that whatever happened in your past does not have to affect your current situation or your future.  It’s not easy to let go of pain or frustrations or disappointments, but if you don’t, you will never figure out who you really are.

There is only one way to start anew.  Start by deciding who you want to be and then declare who you are!

I am a writer

I am a good person

I am an entrepreneur

I am a positive person

I am a success

I am a musician

I am a soul searcher

Who are you?

There is no right or wrong.  The list can be as short or long as you want; but, no matter what, have a list. When you choose who you want to be, you start to naturally head in that direction. Don’t focus on your bad traits.  Don’t think about past regrets, mistakes, or unexpected errors.   Start with the good and the positive and the direction you want to follow and go forward from there.  Turn “I want to be a good musician” into “I am a good musician;” or “I want to get straight A’s” to “I am an excellent student.”

Figuring It All Out

I bet, like me, you have a lot of responsibilities, or you play a lot of roles.  For me it’s mother, wife, paralegal, writer, motivator, and karate teacher.  I did not always recognize the “genuine” me because of all the roles I play.  Roles can take over your life and your personality and then leave you feeling like something is missing.  It is important to always retain a part of the original you. At times, finding the original you requires a long, hard look at who you were in your past and how you have evolved. Once you do that you can push through to a new level.

Here’s some examples from my own life

• When I was a young girl I did not have a lot of confidence and I was afraid of failure.
• When I was ten years old and a little overweight, the doctor put me on a diet to lose ten pounds.
• I started to play the guitar when I was eleven.  I couldn’t afford sheet music so I had to write my own songs.
•  When I went off to college I had independence for the first time.  Some decisions I made were not very good.
• When I started taking karate at age 26, I was out of shape.

How I found my genuine self through all of these actions:

• I decided to start trying new things as I got older and started to enjoy my life more.
• The diet worked and I felt a new me emerge.  A little more self-confidence, a little more happiness developed.
• Little did I know that playing the guitar would eventually help me be a better writer, a passion that remains with me to this day.
• I learned a lot in college, especially about how to appreciate diversity in life.
• Learning karate was a time of personal growth and I found a lot of the real me there.

Think about your past challenges.  Put them in a bucket and check off one by one how they helped the real you emerge over time.  Cross them off and get ready to move forward.  It’s time to create a new bucket list that makes up the genuine you, the person you want and proclaim to be.

How do I know?  Because, like you, I have time issues and other constraints that make it difficult to see past the difficulties of life.  The difference between you and I is that I have already started to find the genuine me.  I am actively seeking the person inside who I want to be; the one who can move forward without any barriers in my way;  the one who knows that no matter what role I play, even if I love it and enjoy it, I must retain a little bit of my inner true self just for me.  Perhaps I will then see me the way others do, and vice versa.