Nothing in life is an accident. Your actions and words, behaviors and patterns all have a reason. Maybe it’s not the reason you like, but nonetheless, you being you is no accident.  The day you were born there was a destiny set before you.  Your likes and dislikes, emotions and truths, were already set in motion.  You can believe that they came from anyone, anywhere, and it doesn’t really matter, because they are there and they are yours and there is no getting rid of them.  How do I know? Because that’s what destiny looks like.

You may make choices and that is where some of the destiny-control comes in.  I have interesting news for you.  There is no way to control that which will exist.  Your choices feel like free-will choices but they are steps and pathways to a life-momentum that cannot change direction even if you want it to.  Right now you may be reflecting on a choice you need to make.  You are wondering if it is right or wrong, if it will make sense, or change you for the worse. There is some relief in knowing that the final choice that you make (as long as it is not negative and does not involve hate) is the one that is meant to be.  You can make a wrong choice or a bad choice and if you do, you will eventually be redirected because what is meant to be, is meant to be.

That’s where martial arts comes in for me.  Martial arts look like destiny to me.  Someone asked me recently if I thought I would start to run out of things to say about martial arts, and I responded:

“No, every moment of my life presents another topic, idea, or interest that I can relate to martial arts. I can relate my hamburger, a tree, or a bad day to martial arts and find something positive to say about it.”

Learning a martial art was a decision that I made, but it really was a decision that picked me.  I could have quit a number of different times, but I would have been pulled back in somehow, some way.  I was destined to earn a black belt because it meant in the future I would be here, talking to you.  I’d have good things to say.  I’d be wise enough to brush off the little hiccups in life and address the bigger strategies.  People would listen, not because I was intent and unwavering, but because every bit of my struggles, disasters, and difficulties were the same as theirs, the difference being that I knew how to effectively pull through.

I have the secret ingredient to every single horrible circumstance because of one thing:  my martial art mindset.  My destiny is to share what I know to help others lead better, happier, more productive lives.  It could not be any clearer. I am meant to be a martial artist.

Because of my practice of a martial art, I know how to take personal challenges and turn them into positive passions.  It takes time, though.  Some days I still revert to thinking the worst. The difference is that now, I catch it.  I feel it when I’m starting to lean in the wrong direction. It is like another sense or an intuition, and a warning that I’m headed for trouble if I don’t keep the positive vibes flowing. It’s like throwing the wrong punch at the wrong time. It will never make contact.

Because martial arts demand attention and focus, there’s no time to be negative. You are so busy listening intently, striving,and  inching your way along that any  thought, good or bad, simply does not exist.  Your concentration is spent trying finally understand a difficult concept, or apply force on the right part of a pressure point, or block an impending punch instead of being hit by it. When performing kata or any set of flowing, choreographed movements, you are contemplating if your thumb is properly tucked in a ridge hand, or if your fist is closed as tightly and securely as it should be. You hope you are holding your weapon properly or moving in such a manner that would save your life. While you are practicing the movement, the sway, and the personal application, there is no time to be negative.  Right then, right there, negativity does not exist.

Which brings me to a very important point.  Do you have time to be negative (if so, you have too much time on your hands!)?  Do you have energy and brain matter to waste on thoughts that have little benefit to you?  Can you use your time more productively on building meaning and purpose to your life? If you had no time to spare, not a minute to waste, would you spend your precious moments identifying every wrong-doing, imperfection, and loss or would you reflect on every inch of goodness and right-doing, love and personal growth?  I hope it is the latter.

I bet some of you still cannot recognize the fine line between positive and negative. You think you are positive but you are not.  When you say “I’m not good at that” or “I’m scared about that” you are letting negativity infiltrate.  “I’ve never done that but am willing to try,” or “I’m going to tackle this head on and see what happens”  shows the difference between the negative and positive reactions.  One reaction is a straight out rejection without even trying; the other is hopeful and honest and has potential for interpretation and growth.

I showed my class the other day a stack of three inch boards and how thick they looked when stacked together.  The first board break I ever did in my life was a jump front kick on three inches of wood when I was a green belt. I learned how, in an instant, you can change negative to positive and and how it creates success.  In three jumps (because it took me that many tries), I learned that negative thoughts will inhibit you and positive thoughts will empower you.  That was all the learning I needed.  This was my thought process during the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd kicks:

• I can’t….
• I think I can do this….
• I can do this….

This is the translation of these three thoughts:

• No
• Maybe
• Yes
  

• Negative
• Neutral
• Positive

• Lose
• Stay the same
• Win

Your destiny is risky.  It is in place at various thresholds of your life. At times it is subtle and at other times it is in your face, as if to say, “you must break these three boards, so I’ll just wait here until you make the right choice in your mind, no matter how long it takes.” You will know when your life makes sense.  You will see the writing on the wall or the writing in your heart.  One simple moment will clarify exactly who you are and what you are meant to do. Then, you can brush away what others think.  You can tune out the criticism.  You can make decisions that are right based on your own personal circumstances. You can stand steadfast in knowing that you are meeting the truths with which you have been presented.

Today I see why that jump front kick was meant to be.  Today, it is the one example I use over and over to enlighten others as to the simplicity of changing negative to positive.  All you need to do is make a conscious change in your mind and in your heart over and over until it becomes a habit. Find the positive when the negative settles in.

Believe me, I’ve learned my share of lessons recently. For all the wisdom I’ve gathered over time, there is still a good bit of unanswered questions that still cross my path.  One thing I do know is that I am here for you.  Maybe that is part of my martial arts destiny or my life destiny, but either way I’m guided exactly where I need to be and so are you.

Winning comes in many shapes and sizes.  It’s not always a big award you can hang on the wall. It can be the smallest of words that whips your spirit back into shape.  If you listen, you will hear, and your destiny will be clear.

Andrea