When you were a child, did you ever say, “Let’s make-believe, or pretend, that we are…” and then you filled in the blank? It might have been a role you cherished, like a mother, or something different, like an Army man,  doctor, hair stylist, a musician, or a singer. The beauty of it is that when you were a child, your imagination was free. You felt as if you were indestructible, and that your life would never end. Even better, you believed that there was every possibility to become everything you ever imagined.

When I was younger, guitar in hand, I dreamed of being a singer on a stage in front of a small audience. It was a specific vision. I did not see myself as a mega-performer, but rather someone who touched small audiences through music and words. As you know, that never happened.  Your dreams and visions of often remain dormant for long periods of time, but may resurface in one shape or form later in your life.

As you get older, your perspective naturally changes. Years of schooling, commitments, and structured environments take hold. Responsibilities build and fill the brain space that was once bold, creative, and left to imagination. It is no fault of yours. The world starts to auto-fill where you leave blanks. You forget to dream, or create new and powerful definitions of who you are, or dream about who you want to be. As a martial artist, I have anticipated dreams, visions, and goals. I have seen simple roots take shape into large and magnificent dreams.

As a youngster, I never thought about martial arts. I had no desire to learn them. When I finally started in my late twenties, I realized something very important. I had forgotten how to believe.  If I had remembered, I would have seen myself as an inspiring black belt. But, I did not. My vision was limited to the moment, to getting through what I needed to know. I wore a white belt, and I thought like a white belt. Words like beginner and novice defined me. Those are not negative terms, unless they limit your vision.

Over time, I changed from feeling like a beginner to feeling like I was accomplishing something important in my life.  It took me a while to learn martial arts, and it took a while for me to ever call myself a martial artist. I preferred the word student, because it was about the learning. I figured out what to do over time, took  tests, moved up in rank, and completed necessary requirements. I was a typical, everyday, martial artist.

There are many everyday martial artists like me in the world. Not everyone is a leader or a teacher. Whether their martial art remains a private, introspective practice, or they one day own a school, or show up in a movie does not matter, as long as they have a vision of who they want to be. For you to see their potential, look beyond what you think you see and make-believe they are so much more. What you see then is probably closer to who they really are on the inside.

To make-believe is more than just a fantasy or a playful thought. If you are a martial art leader or instructor, you  have a unique responsibility to empower and elevate others. You need to help them believe that they are capable of so much more than they envision. The white belts, who are happy to just get through one part of class, need to be reminded that they can, and will, succeed. They need to know that their instructors have every confidence that they will earn a black belt one day. Once they believe, they will never see themselves the same way again. Martial arts allow them a glimpse back into their childhood, when they thought that they could be or do anything. Now, they have the chance.

I don’t need to remind anyone that the journey from white belt to black belt is riddled with both discouragement and triumph. Today, I still battle the roller-coaster about training and achievement. In between one commitment and another, I try my best to learn something new, or practice something old. I lose sight of what it means to make-believe that I can succeed, because life gets in the way.

I have a little homework for you and I to do. For just one moment in the day, close your eyes, and make-believe. See yourself for exactly who you want to be. For me, it is a martial artist, but even more, a writer and a motivator. I still see that audience, but this time there is no guitar, only words. I look out and I see eager expressions wanting to be reminded that they can be whomever they want to be. They want to know the steps to feeling good about themselves. I remind them that I have felt the same exact way, but was able to move past it. The vision exists and I need to rehearse it and see myself there, to ever make it come true.

I’ll be the first one to agree that where I am now, and where I want to be, are still at different ends of the spectrum.  You cannot go back to being a child. Your perspective is more wise about life, now. There are plenty of barriers and obstacles that creep up with little warning. Your plans get pushed aside, or delayed, while you conquer life’s daily challenges. There are times when I think like a white belt again, and minimize my potential. I must always remind myself to believe, and you must do the same. We must keep sight of exactly who we want to be.

There are always delays and setbacks, but each day also provides new opportunities and experiences. At times you will need to prioritize and come up with a plan. Make a list of your responsibilities and commitments. Is there a change that needs to be made?  Can you cross some items off the list in order to add others? What are the most important to you? I am in the process of doing this in my life right now.

There is one thing that you must do in order to reach your goals, live your dreams, advance, or achieve. You must find that place deep inside that echoes who you want to be. If you could make-believe again, who would you dream about becoming?

Andrea

 

Andrea F. Harkins, is a writer, motivator, life coach, martial artist, and public speaker. Her book, The Martial Arts Woman, will be published later this year. Andrea is Internationally known for her positivity through martial arts efforts and outreach, and her writing. She is currently a columnist for Martial Arts Illustrated UK, The Martial Arts Guardian (UK), the World Martial Arts Magazine, MASUCCESS, Conflict Manager, The Parrish Village News, and her blog, The Martial Arts Woman.  Contact her through this website’s CONTACT ME page for information on public speaking, autographs, and life coaching.