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Three Powerful Tips for Living a Better Life

I think it is safe to say that we would all like to live the best life that we can. Whether it is health, fitness, finances, or happiness, everyone has a desire to live better in one way or another. Here are three simple life and mindset changes that you can put into action today, so you can become the best you, ever!

  1. Stop negative comparisons

It is great to have a mentor or role model in mind as you go through each day. It is very encouraging to model yourself after someone who has the qualities that you admire, who makes an effort to succeed, or who has pushed through a barrier or obstacle to triumph. Sometimes, this person allows you a glimpse into your own future, because they are headed in a direction you would like to go. They can also be a great reminder that you are capable of so much more than for what you give yourself credit.

The difficulty with comparisons is when you decide that others are better than you are, or they are more successful, smarter, or have more potential than you do. You drastically limit yourself and your chances of personal success when you decide that you cannot achieve something because someone else has already achieved it, or if you believe that you will only ever be ordinary, because there are already too many extraordinary people out there.

In martial arts, there are some truly amazing and talented people. Some can run and jump over a host of people crouched down together and float over them like air and break a board at the very end with complete ease. Others practice deadly weapons without any worry. I love to see these great feats of martial artistry, but I don’t use them as a measurement of my own achievements as a martial artist. I may not be as physically adept as them, but I have my own contributions to martial arts, such as my positivity mission. Everyone has a purpose and a value and is completely unlike any other, even you. Focus on your contributions, and stop negative comparisons.

  1. Surround yourself with people who believe in you

You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends, social media contacts, and acquaintances. When I started my social media, I was shocked at the amount of negativity and criticism that was so rampant. Everyone had an opinion about what I was doing or saying, and it was not always positive. I felt hurt and bewildered at times. After all, who couldn’t use a dose of positivity? Why would someone not like that?

Finally, I realized that not everyone has the same agenda. For positivity to work, you must want it to work. Many people have no interest in it. Slowly, I weeded the negative people from my contacts list. That created more space for the people who really wanted to be a part of my mission. In life, I try to do the same. Friends who care and want to be a positive part of my life, are welcome. Those who have no vision of success for themselves or those around them are not allowed to impinge on my mindset or my mission. I cannot improve and utilize my own potential if others want to crush my spirit.

Martial arts helped me to understand that I can only succeed when I am surrounded by those who support and believe in me. I progressed through the ranks because my instructors had my best interests in mind, and they helped to propel me to the positivity mentor I am today.  I do my best to surround myself with those who believe in me, because guess what? I believe in them, too, and it is a circle of positivity that can’t be broken.

  1. Pursue your interests

If you never try, you will never know.

Many people wonder what their purpose or mission in life is. I can’t answer that, but I can tell you that it is not revealed if you do not try to find it. No one is going to upload a vision of your purpose into your brain. My best advice is to pursue your different interests, or even what others encourage you to try, and see what happens.

I have always been a writer, but I never pursued professional writing until a few years back. Why? Because I was afraid of failure and rejection. It is a natural response whenever you try something new. However, I realized that the time had come. It was either now or never. I literally waited 40 years, since I started writing at ten years of age, to send my first query in to a magazine.

The most amazing thing happened when I pursued this lifelong interest. I started writing for one, two, three, four, five, then six magazines. My vision of myself was exactly what these magazines needed, a fresh approach to the same old topics, and I had the positivity twist that every other writer lacked. If I had not pursued this interest, I would have never understood my purpose and passion.

Just remember, what you put into your life is what you get out of it. There is no magic that happens to successful people, other than they put the hours of work in to see the result. Surround yourself with positivity as much as possible, including your own thoughts and the people with whom you spend your time. What do you want to do? In what direction do you feel compelled to go? What talents have you been carrying around inside, but not willing to try for whatever reason?  Let it go. Time is precious and with only one life to live, it is a good idea to make it the most rewarding, passionate, exciting and fulfilling life that you can!




My new book, The Martial Arts Woman, is now available. Purchase through my e-commerce store: or on Amazon!

The Martial Arts Woman shares the stories and insights of more than twenty-five women in the martial arts, and how they apply martial arts to their lives. Unlike most other martial art books, the reader will catch a glimpse into the brave and empowered woman who dares to be all that she can be. Many of these women had to overcome great societal or personal challenges to break into the men’s world of martial arts. This book will motivate and inspire you to go after your goals in life and to fight through every challenge and defeat every obstacle. The Martial Arts Woman will open your eyes to the power of the human spirit and the martial art mindset that dwells in each of us!


Andrea F. Harkins is a  writer, motivator, life coach, martial artist, and public speaker. Her book, The Martial Arts Woman, is now available at or on Amazon!

Andrea is Internationally known for her positivity through martial arts efforts and outreach, and her writing. She is currently a contributor for Think Positive Magazine, as well as a columnist for Martial Arts Illustrated UK, The Martial Arts Guardian (UK), the World Martial Arts Magazine, MASUCCESS, Conflict Manager, Martial Arts Business (Australia), The Parrish Village News, and her blog, The Martial Arts Woman.  Contact her through this website’s CONTACT ME page for information on public speaking, autographs, and life coaching.

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